Benji Spam II

Hello there Soulseekers!  My name is Benji Evans.  I believe that I have become more and more addicted to chat as of late.  I love chatting with my friends and I love trying to troll my enemies.  I have adopted a Ricky persona and I have tried to become friendly with him.  Ricky is the one who can protect me in chat.  His chat persona is really working out for me.  I have expanded upon it and I add in bigger words to make myself appear a more formidable opponent in the chat arena.  I discover these words from Kurt Kren and Truancy.  Another one of my hobbies is rap music.  I love it.  I could listen it to all the time and I love listening to it while at the gym.  I wish that a white man listening to rap was more accepted but, at least on Soulseek, I can be free.  Speaking of being free, it is become more difficult to cover up my mental illness.  Even as I type this I am fidgeting and shaking like crazy.  I need my medications but I do not want to take them.  I believe that vitamins and exercise will cure me.  I read that on a blog.  I am not really sure what else I can offer people apart from chat.  My background is quite chaotic and I moved schools a lot. I think my instability is still showing and will continue to show forever.  I do hope that no one in chat will find out the truth about me.  I just want to be loved by someone, be it online or in real life.  I would prefer an online romance though.  Online girls are more reliable.  I can arrange to meet them at a certain time and we can chat for hours.  Having to deal with girls in real life is far too much hassle.  Online I am hidden behind a screen and they can not see my true self.  I do not like people seeing me for me.  I want to project the image of me that I want people to see.  I am very self-conscious.  Again this comes from my background of instability and chronic esteem problems.