[Mar 10 11:12:00 pm][cherubs] loveddd heineken
[Mar 10 11:12:04 pm][cherubs] hardly anyone does though
[Mar 10 11:12:08 pm][cherubs] because it's so skunky
[Mar 10 11:12:35 pm][cherubs] my ex got me into heineken
[Mar 10 11:12:49 pm][cherubs] i used to spend like 200$ on alcohol a week
[Mar 10 11:13:23 pm][cherubs] but sober now for like 6 years and 9 months
[Mar 10 11:13:28 pm][cherubs] it was about there sometimes more
[Mar 10 11:13:30 pm][cherubs] i used to drink every day
[Mar 10 11:13:33 pm][cherubs] and i had a high tolerance
[Mar 10 11:13:52 pm][cherubs] took me about 13 heinekens at least to get where i wanted to be
[Mar 10 11:14:03 pm][cherubs] i always had an emergency bottle of jack daniels in my room
[Mar 10 11:14:11 pm][cherubs] and an emergency 12 pack of tecate in my closet
[Mar 10 11:14:21 pm][cherubs] i'd go clubbing about twice a week but kick backs every day
[Mar 10 11:14:25 pm][cherubs] it was expensive
[Mar 10 11:14:33 pm][cherubs] that's good bear
[Mar 10 11:14:51 pm][cherubs] i dont' feel like i'm missing out on anything anymore being sober
[Mar 10 11:14:56 pm][cherubs] i do miss weed sometimes if anything
[Mar 10 11:15:17 pm][cherubs] niceee
[Mar 10 11:15:23 pm][cherubs] i can't god
[Mar 10 11:15:30 pm][cherubs] i take a mood stablizer
[Mar 10 11:15:35 pm][cherubs] i decided to go sober when i started medication
[Mar 10 11:15:41 pm][cherubs] cant mix the two
[Mar 10 11:15:46 pm][cherubs] i found a medication that works for me
[Mar 10 11:15:48 pm][cherubs] can't fuck with it
[Mar 10 11:16:09 pm][cherubs] what's wrong with that
[Mar 10 11:16:14 pm][cherubs] better than self medicating
[Mar 10 11:16:17 pm][cherubs] i have bipolar disorder
[Mar 10 11:16:22 pm][cherubs] although self-medicating was fun
[Mar 10 11:16:32 pm][cherubs] i had 7 good years to get righteously fucked up
[Mar 10 11:16:36 pm][cherubs] yeah that's because you don't have it
[Mar 10 11:16:40 pm][cherubs] when you have bipolar disorder
[Mar 10 11:16:44 pm][cherubs] you'll believe it
[Mar 10 11:16:59 pm][cherubs] but it's a blessing, not a curse
[Mar 10 11:17:09 pm][cherubs] it is
[Mar 10 11:17:18 pm][cherubs] do you know how many bipolar people shaped the world as you know it
[Mar 10 11:17:23 pm][cherubs] that have shaped the art world
[Mar 10 11:17:27 pm][cherubs] the world of literature
[Mar 10 11:17:31 pm][cherubs] even the inventions of flight
[Mar 10 11:17:49 pm][cherubs] da vinci did the first designs of what we know now as a helicopter
[Mar 10 11:17:59 pm][cherubs] lol who said that
[Mar 10 11:18:10 pm][cherubs] i got diagnosed at the psych ward
[Mar 10 11:18:16 pm][cherubs] by a team of psychologists
[Mar 10 11:18:37 pm][cherubs] i never said i felt like my disorder holds me back
[Mar 10 11:18:40 pm][cherubs] id on't feel that at all
[Mar 10 11:18:54 pm][cherubs] nor am i trying to evoke sympathy
[Mar 10 11:18:57 pm][cherubs] i don't need anyone to feel sorry for me
[Mar 10 11:19:10 pm][cherubs] not if you find the right one sapph
[Mar 10 11:19:13 pm][cherubs] i used to be very suicidal
[Mar 10 11:19:19 pm][cherubs] i haven't been suicidal for years
[Mar 10 11:19:21 pm][cherubs] after medication
[Mar 10 11:19:25 pm][cherubs] risperdal kinda saved me life
[Mar 10 11:19:37 pm][cherubs] i probably would have overdosed or offed myself had i not started medication
[Mar 10 11:19:49 pm][cherubs] ok you're just trolling
[Mar 10 11:20:00 pm][cherubs] no i'm not just floating by
[Mar 10 11:20:05 pm][cherubs] i am contributing to this world
[Mar 10 11:20:13 pm][cherubs] you are just stirring up crap for no reason
[Mar 10 11:20:21 pm][cherubs] so then don't take them
[Mar 10 11:20:24 pm][cherubs] if you don't agree witht hem
[Mar 10 11:20:25 pm][cherubs] don't take them
[Mar 10 11:20:36 pm][cherubs] you're stupid
[Mar 10 11:21:17 pm][cherubs] i am the real cherubs
[Mar 10 11:21:21 pm][cherubs] and you are ignored
[Mar 10 11:21:40 pm][cherubs] i don't think there is anything wrong with taking the initiative to treat your disorder
[Mar 10 11:21:45 pm][cherubs] the truth of the matter is
[Mar 10 11:21:49 pm][cherubs] there is no such thing as sanity
[Mar 10 11:21:58 pm][cherubs] the ones that claim to be sane are always the craziest
[Mar 10 11:22:07 pm][cherubs] if you can acknowledge that you have a few screws loose
[Mar 10 11:22:11 pm][cherubs] that is the most sane thing you could do
[Mar 10 11:22:23 pm][cherubs] even psychologists have issues
[Mar 10 11:22:39 pm][cherubs] well medications are not for everyone
[Mar 10 11:22:50 pm][cherubs] and psycologists tend to make the big mistake of over medicating
[Mar 10 11:23:03 pm][cherubs] they think that so long as you are not causing anyone any trouble that you have a better quality of life
[Mar 10 11:23:10 pm][cherubs] my doctor has me on 0.5 risperdal
[Mar 10 11:23:11 pm][cherubs] once a day
[Mar 10 11:23:14 pm][cherubs] i don't need any more than that
[Mar 10 11:23:20 pm][cherubs] it get's me by just fine
[Mar 10 11:23:23 pm][cherubs] i don't feel like a zombie
[Mar 10 11:23:39 pm][cherubs] and i'm not really struggling with my disorder because i treat it
[Mar 10 11:24:36 pm][cherubs] i actually think weed is good to use if you're not medicated... if you have bipolar disorder
[Mar 10 11:24:39 pm][cherubs] helps keep you calm
[Mar 10 11:25:07 pm][cherubs] well there is nothing wrong with being different
[Mar 10 11:25:26 pm][cherubs] but when you are being self-destructive and you are possibly a harm to others
[Mar 10 11:25:31 pm][cherubs] then it's a good idea to get medicated
[Mar 10 11:25:58 pm][cherubs] with my risperdal i can very rarely reach extreme excitement
[Mar 10 11:26:08 pm][cherubs] but that prevents me from hitting huge lows
[Mar 10 11:26:09 pm][cherubs] oh girl
[Mar 10 11:26:12 pm][cherubs] risperdal for me
[Mar 10 11:26:16 pm][cherubs] is a miracle drug
[Mar 10 11:26:23 pm][cherubs] i can actually concentrate on one thing, one project at a time
[Mar 10 11:26:32 pm][cherubs] before my mind was kind of like a crowded room
[Mar 10 11:26:33 pm][cherubs] brb
